Betsy Caram Update "...if I want to continue making right choices, I will have to take the long view of life."

This is an example of taking Christianity beyond the theoretical and making it practical. We all hope that when we come into great trials of life we will be able to meet the challenge and rise above, however, we really never know for sure until we find ourselves in a prison that we cannot get out of. I appreciate Sis. Betsy’s testimony and the grace of God that comes forth in her email updates and I hope to be able to rise to the challenges of life myself by surrendering to His kind and gracious hand to get me through… please continue to pray for our dear sister.

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From: Betsy Caram 
Sent: Sunday, March 27, 2011 8:43 AM
Subject: Latest update

Number six chemo treatment has come to a close, and I am now 3/4 through. There are only two more to go, PTL!  The end of all this is now in sight, and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Since I already knew the probability of joint pain being a part of this newer regiment of chemo drugs,  I began taking pain medication immediately after my last chemo treatment and it really helped to keep the inflamation and pain to a somewhat bearable level this time. Fatigue, intestinal problems and pain still persisted, but I am learning through this long process to praise the Lord anyhow. 

As the many weeks of discomfort have dragged on in this trial, I have really been considering the Scripture in James 1:2 about "counting it all joy" when you find yourself in situations that are not very pleasant. J. B. Phillips translation says it like this: “When all kinds of trials and temptations crowd into your lives, my brothers, don’t resent them as intruders, but welcome them as friends!” Besides the rather interesting concept of treating pain like a friend, I couldn't help but also notice the exclamation point at the end of the Phillips translation.  This kind of reaction to trouble and suffering can only be explained as a  “supernatural” response. It is not natural” to find joy in hardship; yet that is the whole point to this passage, isn't it? Therefore, James is not talking about a “natural” reaction. He is talking about a “supernatural” reaction made possible by the Holy Spirit who enables us to see and to respond to our particular difficult situation from God’s point of view. For even in His humanity, Christ,   the perfect, sinless Lamb of God, endured the utter shame and contradiction of Calvary because of "the joy that was set before Him!" (Heb.12:2).

So the way I see it, "counting it all joy" is a conscious choice I must make during this time of suffering. Truthfully, it is probably a choice I will have to make again and again and again in this life. And, if I want to continue making right choices, I will have to take the long view of life. I will have to understand that what I am enduring now is not the final chapter of the story. So by God's grace I am making a conscious choice to view my struggle with cancer as something that is allowed by the Lord, as well as something that is necessary for my spiritual growth. If the creative God of the Universe is living inside of me, and I believe He is, then I want to be able to see my life's circumstances from His perspective and His point of view, not just from my own limited, earthly,  human viewpoint. This has truly been my desire since the beginning of this "adventure" with cancer. I really want to understand completely what it means to "count it all joy!" Why? Because suffering joyfully in this life seems to be a noble step up from grumbling, complaining, and having a bad attitude toward God when things don't go the way I want them to go. That is why I take comfort in knowing that through all of this, the lessons I am learning on suffering are part of the journey toward a more noble and less self-centered me. I must confess that I have not always passed the test of being thankful in all my difficult situations.  

The most important thing in my life is my relationship with the Lord; so if suffering has deepened my commitment to Him; if it has strengthened and enriched my life, if it has taught me lessons that I could learn no other way—then how could I challenge any measure of suffering I have had to experience? Are there times when I would have wished it all away if I could? I can assure you there were moments when I did just that! Yet I would not trade this experience with cancer  for any thing in this world, because I truly believe it has been worth the ground I have gained. The experience of knowing the Lord on a level I had never thought possible is worth more to me than mere words can express at this time. 

All of that said, I am very aware that I could not have responded so willingly if not for your prayers and wonderful gestures of friendship and love, so I thank you once again for all you have done for me during these weeks of a stressful life. 

Much love,

Paul and Betsy

Ecclesiastes Chapter Five Cont... Riches perish by evil use

14 “But those riches perish by evil travail: and he begetteth a son, and there is nothing in his hand”.

"But those riches perish by evil use..." The word “Travail” Can be translated “Use”; riches perish by evil use… Vice and extravagance can take hold of the man or woman who comes into wealth, they begin to live in unbridled indulgence and before they know it they are ruined (Luke 15:12-13 – the Prodigal). They squander it all and have no wealth to pass on to their children. Many fantasize about getting rich and becoming a millionaire but they do not consider what will happen to them once they can do whatsoever their heart desires, usually it is indulge, indulge, indulge until they are ruined. The point here is that wealth is vanity, it seems like the answer but once one has the power to do whatever their heart desires then their money becomes a snare to them; money is not the answer for many it is the curse that ruins ones life.

15 “As he came forth of his mother's womb, naked shall he return to go as he came, and shall take nothing of his labour, which he may carry away in his hand”.

"...And shall take nothing of his labor, which he may carry away in his hand." This is a true statement because he says "which he may carry away in his hand" and it is sure that silver, gold and precious stones cannot be carried into eternity, however, the scriptures are quite clear that we can be rewarded for our labors (Proverbs 11:18; Matt 9:41; 1 Corinthians 3:14). In this way one can send their rewards on. Since it is clear we cannot take anything earthly with us then we should focus on what we can take with us.

Betsy Caram Update... Hope is an "anchor for the soul" (Heb 6:19)

The following excerpt is from Betsy Carams email dated 1-30-2011; this update focuses on the absolute necessity of hope and how we need to find it in the midst of our own storms…

From: Betsy Caram

Sent: Sunday, January 30, 2011 6:39 PM

Subject: Latest update

Dear Friends and family…

Since the beginning of the news of my diagnosis, God has been challenging my heart with the thought of hope. When I first heard the word "cancer," I felt I needed to grab hold of hope; and yet I didn't fully understand how to go about it. Soon after, I heard two different messages on hope and did a study on it myself. From all these various sources, I learned to appreciate hope like never before. For example, I learned from Scripture that hope is "an anchor to my soul" (Heb. 6:19). Many are going through difficult experiences, but in these difficult times God wants to give us something. It is called "hope." We all know that the opposite of hope is despair. To despair is to see the situation we are in as if it is bigger than God's ability to do something to change it. It is to believe that we have been forsaken or abandoned in our situation; that there is no solution, no way out—no hope. Yet hope always causes us to rise above the storms of despair. As a ship in the midst of a stormy sea is firmly held to the sea bed by it's anchor, so too "hope" is the anchor of the soul that keeps us steady when the storms of life come to test us. Hope accomplishes for us the same thing that an anchor does for a ship—preserving that ship (our soul) when the waves and the winds beat against it. This picture of an anchor helped me understand hope so much better and even gave me more reason to "hope" in God's mercy in my particular situation.

In my last update I had asked for prayer regarding the need to keep a song in my heart so that it would not be taken away by any form of problems that could arise because of my current challenge. The answer to that prayer came in the form of a poem by Emily Dickenson sent to me in a card of encouragement. I quote it here for your encouragement as well. "Hope" is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without words and never stops—at all." May these two pictures of "hope" cause your hearts to be strengthened as you face your own particular struggles in this very precious, but temporary life. And while we still covet your prayers for my continued chemo treatments, we trust that many who read this will be able to grab hold of hope in a new way. We also pray that you be able to see God doing something good and even eternal right in the midst of your own difficult situations. Thank you again for your faithfulness to us—it means so much.

Love,

Paul and Betsy

Ecclesiastes Chapter Five cont.... Work hard at making others rich!

12 “The sleep of a labouring man is sweet, whether he eat little or much: but the abundance of the rich will not suffer him to sleep”.

This thought is connected to the last verse, one can be consumed by great possessions but the sleep of a laboring man (though his possession be great or small) is sweet; this is something Solomon envied because he did not sleep the sleep of a hardworking righteous man. He was a hard working and ambitious man but it was to build for himself a name, that makes the labor empty. It is more likely the widow who offered her two mites out of her poverty had far more peace and joy in her life and slept better than Solomon with all his wealth and cavalcade. His sleep was interrupted by worries and woes that were a product of his great love for his wealth and position. The pursuit of things does not bring the peace and satisfaction that one imagines it will, the man who is upright and ekes out an existence by the sweat of his brow, who at times has very little, while at other times has much can rejoice with great peace in his heart because he is free from covetousness and idolatry.

13 “There is a sore evil which I have seen under the sun, namely, riches kept for the owners thereof to their hurt”.

It is unfortunate but in many cases once man acquires great wealth it ends up being to his destruction, it can produce covetousness. When a man is poor and he has very little resources then he is generally free from the vices and entanglements of wealth (although there are exceptions to this rule for the moment we will generally accept it is so), he lives his life incapable of indulging in extravagant affairs. But once a man can do whatsoever his heart imagines he begins to indulge his lusts and very quickly vice has a strangle hold on him. Also, as is the case of Solomon his wealth became an idol to him and he had no peace because he spent all his time worrying about his treasures. What is the point? God does not bless mankind just to make him rich; Gods blessings are to be used to make others rich. Job said he used his influence and resources to set those who had no one to help them free, this is the pattern for the church. “When the ear heard me, then it blessed me; and when the eye saw me, it gave witness to me: Because I delivered the poor that cried, and the fatherless, and him that had none to help him. The blessing of him that was ready to perish came upon me: and I caused the widow's heart to sing for joy. I put on righteousness, and it clothed me: my judgment was as a robe and a diadem. I was eyes to the blind, and feet was I to the lame. I was a father to the poor: and the cause which I knew not I searched out. And I brake the jaws of the wicked, and plucked the spoil out of his teeth”. Job 29:11-17

Rev Paul & Betsy Caram "The Long Ride is Part of the Gift"

I was just going to post a portion of this email update from Betsy Caram, however, I could not bring myself to cut anything out so I am posting it in it's entirety. I hope this is an encouragement to everyone (especially any who might find themselves in need of the grace of God). 

I have found that grace begets grace and God gives His grace to those who order their conversation aright. Ordering our conversation aright in the midst of our trials is like the incense burning upon the altar before the Ark of God; It ministers to our Lord. This email makes me want to find excuses to uplift His name even in the midst of my own dark trials...

Blessings,

P.Frank 

From: Betsy Caram [mailto:bcaram@verizon.net]
Sent: Sunday, March 13, 2011 3:03 PM
To: Undisclosed recipients:
Subject: Recent Update

Dear Friends and family,

Well, number five treatment is history and I am going on Monday for number six. My new drug regiment had an unexpected side effect that was a bit rough for me. I had numbness, tingling and sharp, intense pain in my legs for several days, which did not totally subside until the next Monday. As a result, it was difficult to walk and impossible to sleep, so I finally had to resort to left over pain medicine from my double knee replacement surgery one and a half years ago. It is something I am told I can look forward to for the next three remaining treatments, so I would really appreciate your prayers. 

Our time in the Dominican Republic was wonderful, but also not without difficulty. Due to a mechanical failure, our flight  there was delayed until late Saturday. As a result, we had to spend over twelve hours sitting in the cold Rochester and Philadelphia airports, while I was still trying to recover from the side effects of Monday's chemo treatment. Paul had been scheduled to do a graduation on Saturday, which was a real disappointment for us as well as the 115 students who were waiting for him to come. All was not lost, however, as they redid a shortened version of the graduation on Sunday night after the church service and Paul was able to give a graduation speech and take pictures with the students, robes and all. Unfortunately, the story does not stop there, as we also experienced another delay due to bad weather on the way home. This meant after arriving in the U.S. at 4:30 PM, we had to sit for eight more hours in the JFK Airport waiting for our plane to depart for Rochester, N.Y. After finally cancelling us at 10:00 PM, Paul stood in line for another two hours to get us rebooked for the next morning. We got to our hotel that night and had five hours of sleep before coming back to wait another three hours until our flight to Rochester. Then we had to drive another two and a half hours home. Oh, the joys of being a missionary!

For those who might be wondering how we responded to all of this difficulty, I will simply repeat a story that my husband told me almost twenty years ago when we first started our international travels.  We were returning home from Indonesia very tired and more than ready to be home when we were told that there would be a one day delay in New York. We had people already on their way to pick us up at the Rochester Airport that night, which we could do nothing about. Then we were told we had to pick up all of our four large bags before going to the hotel only to return very early the next morning. Arriving back at the airport exhausted and hungry, we quickly found out from some very insensitive ticket agents that the Airline had also delayed our morning flight as well. Quite frankly, as we were forced to wait several more hours, I was tired, upset, and almost ready to lose it until I heard this story repeated by my very calm, never rattled husband. 

The story is about a missionary who went to a remote village in Africa. While there, a young boy gave the missionary a very special pottery vase he had made by hand. The man of God was quite touched by this gift because he knew the sacrifice that had gone into making the vase. He knew that the clay for this pottery could only be found in a special area twenty miles from this particular village.  He then inquired of the boy. "How did you get the clay to make this vase, and how far did you have to go to get it? The simple, and very humble response from the happy little boy was this: "Long trip, part of gift!"  Needless to say, when I heard this story, my complaints were silenced immediately and I was convicted. So through our many years of traveling, with every delay or difficulty, this story has served as a way to put any of our time and trouble in God's service into its proper perspective. It also is a constant reminder that we do not have the freedom or the luxury of having a bad attitude, no matter how unfair our life seems to be at the moment. When situations happen that are unpleasant, inconvenient, or even unfair, our only response must always be: "Long trip, part of gift! 

Believe me, that response has served us well over these past twenty years, as there have been many such delays and tests to prove us along our way. This trip has been no exception, with or without being on chemo! My husband even said as he was waiting in line for two hours, bad back and all, that his thoughts turned to Mary, the mother of Jesus, when she had to make her eighty mile journey to Bethlehem on a donkey. Bad enough senario, yes! But she was also forced to give birth in a cold, desolate stable to the Savior of the world midst animals and hay and no modern conveniences. As Paul waited patiently, that picture kept his attitude right and also later convicted me once again that we have no reason to complain. Our long trip, without criticism of how God is leading us, is part of the gift we owe to that Wonderful One who charts our life and controls all of our circumstances! After all, He is the One who knows how the story will end. 

Thank you for your continued prayers for me. I know I have said it before, but I really couldn't do it without the knowledge that you are lifting me up before the throne of grace. What a wonderful thing to know that God's plan includes us as we are faithful to pray for one another.

Much love,

Paul and Betsy Caram

Ecclesiastes Chapter Five cont... What are the treasures we are seeking in this life?

10 “He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this is also vanity”.

The love of silver, gold, money, jewelry and the like is not just a problem for the sinners; there are saints who struggle in this area as well (Demas, for instance II Tim 4:10). One who covets can never be satisfied with the object they are drawn to. Covetousness is never satisfied; they will always want more and more; no matter how much they have it is never enough. Covetousness is an appetite that is never satisfied, it could well be added to the four things of Proverbs 30:15 that never say, “it is enough”. Guard your heart against covetousness; the counsel given to the rich young ruler in Matthew 19:16-22 is the antidote against covetousness. We must learn to give; the more one wants to hold on to things the more important is it to give.

11 “When goods increase, they are increased that eat them: and what good is there to the owners thereof, saving the beholding of them with their eyes”?

Solomon was a man of great acquisitions; he knew the more you amass the more there is to consume it. The more property you own the more taxes you owe; the more things you own the more things break down and there are maintenance costs. The more animals you own the greater the cost to house and feed them. The point that we make from this verse is that one should not spend their lives in pursuit of things that will consumer time money and resource; we should spend our time in pursuit of the best things (Colossians 3:1-3 – “seek those things which are above…”; Matthew 6:33 – “seek ye firs the kingdom…”). Seek first the kingdom of heaven and His righteousness, all other things we need will be dispensed from the Lord one does not have to pursue them.

Ecclesiastes Chapter Five cont... We are responsible for how we treat others...

8 “If thou seest the oppression of the poor, and violent perverting of judgment and justice in a province, marvel not at the matter: for he that is higher than the highest regardeth; and there be higher than they”.

This deals with the treatment of the poor and the issue of accountability. There are dark obscure times when it feels as though there is no advocate to help the poor and yet magistrates answer to those over them all the way up to the ruler of the land and all will in the end answer to God! In the day of reckoning we shall answer for our treatment of other people (especially those under our care). See the story of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31) and don't forget that this account is not a parable it is Jesus recounting an actual event. Men of the world do not see God so it is easy to forget what Romans 14:11-12 warns; we will all give account according to the weights and measures of God. And everyone shall be rewarded according to his or her labors (1 Corinthian 3:14)!

9 “Moreover the profit of the earth is for all: the king himself is served by the field”.

The Lord has provided the richness of the earth for all, even the king; he himself lives off of its bounty. The spirit of the law is clear, we are our brothers’ keeper and a nation will be evaluated by how it treats the poor of the land. Whilst the welfare mentality can ruin a nation when generations after generation of people grow up living on the dole, still provision must be made for the poor of the land so they do not perish. I am keenly aware having had several experiences with the Lord myself that what man does on this earth (in particular their treatment of others who depend on them) will be evaluated very carefully in heaven.

Words of Hope in the Midst of the Storm

I have been given permission to post snippets from distribution emails sent by Betsy Caram who is, by Gods grace, persevering through her intense bout with cancer. I appreciate her struggle, my girls and I are also experiencing a deep and dark trial as well and during this time I have found these update emails ministered grace and were very encouraging. I asked her permission to post some portions of these emails because I believe there are plenty of people going through personal struggles and trials who I feel might benefit from some of these heartfelt writings of Gods grace. My trial is different from hers and yours will be different from mine but one thing is common in every trial…suffering! Those who suffer can relate to others who are suffering and so consolation received by one can, when shared, I believe distribute comfort to others…

From: Betsy Caram
Sent: Sunday, January 30, 2011
To: Frank Anderson
Subject: Latest update

2/17/2011
Dear Friends and family,
Well, folks, the hair is gone and my hat and wig days are now my only reality for a short season. The last two Sundays at church the ladies put on a hat with me, and we got some great pictures. It was fun. Since vanity is no longer an option, I am finding positive ways to rejoice in my situation. How do I love this new adventure—let me count the ways! My "get ready to go time" has literally been cut in half, and my hair product expenses have vanished. Monday is chemo treatment number three, which means I will have only five more to go after this one. Someone said recently, "Just blink and this whole thing will be over before you know it." I've been doing a lot of blinking and it is not over yet—but all I can say again and again is that God is faithful! While the second round of chemo was not without its issues, I was not down as long this time, and we are praising the Lord that my body is proving it is able to "fight the good fight of faith" during this onslought of unwelcome drugs. I am so aware that there is a real battle going on in my body, as in the natural I am constantly having to address one issue after another in order to keep healthy and fit during this unpleasant but necessary process. The miracle of the human body is a wonder that we so often take for granted. It seems only when we are in a weakened state that we come to appreciate so much how God in His wisdom has created certain aspects of our body to miraculously come to our rescue when it is under attack. This is to me just one more way that our faithful God proves He loves us totally—body, soul, and spirit.

Since the beginning of the news of my diagnosis, God has been challenging my heart with the thought of hope. When I first heard the word "cancer," I felt I needed to grab hold of hope; and yet I didn't fully understand how to go about it. Soon after, I heard two different messages on hope and did a study on it myself. From all these various sources, I learned to appreciate hope like never before. For example, I learned from Scripture that hope is "an anchor to my soul" (Heb. 6:19). Many are going through difficult experiences, but in
these difficult times God wants to give us something. It is called "hope." We all know that the opposite of hope is despair. To despair is to see the situation we are in as if it is bigger than God's ability to do something to change it. It is to believe that we have been forsaken or abandoned in our situation; that there is no solution, no way out—no hope. Yet hope always causes us to rise above the storms of despair. As a ship in the midst of a stormy sea is firmly held to the sea bed by it's anchor, so too "hope" is the anchor of the soul that keeps us steady when the storms of life come to test us. Hope accomplishes for us the same thing that an anchor does for a ship—preserving that ship (our soul) when the waves and the winds beat against it. This picture of an anchor helped me understand hope so much better, and even gave me more reason to "hope" in God's mercy in my particular situation.

In my last update I had asked for prayer regarding the need to keep a song in my heart so that it would not be taken away by any form of problems that could arise because of my current challenge. The answer to that prayer came in the form of a poem by Emily Dickenson sent to me in a card of encouragement. I quote it here for your encouragement as well. "Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without words and never stops—at all." May these two pictures of "hope" cause your hearts to be strengthened as you face your own particular struggles in this very precious, but temporary life. And while we still covet your prayers for my continued chemo treatments, we trust that many who read this will be able to grab hold of hope in a new way. We also pray that you be able to see God doing something good and even eternal right in the midst of your own difficult situations. Thank you again for your faithfulness to us—it means so much.
Love,
Paul and Betsy

Ecclesiastes Chapter Five cont...Keep your vows and work hard

6 “Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin; neither say thou before the angel, that it was an error: wherefore should God be angry at thy voice, and destroy the work of thine hands?”

Here we really see how God feels about one’s words, especially one's vows; in His eyes it is an unpleasant thing for one to break their vow or a promise. We have actually a warning here that if one makes a vow and subsequently breaks that vow then God is not pleased and will not bless the works of their hands. A perfect example of this is in the marital covenant. When one breaks their marital vows then God is not pleased, this is the reason the failure rate of second marriages is 67 % and it increases to 74 % for third marriages (CDC statistic). It is because God does not bless the covenant as a result of the first one being broken.

We have another revelation here and it is that angels are there to witness the making of vows that is what makes them binding. This why it is better to not vow at all than to vow and break it because the angels write down what was said. And finally, we see something of the nature of God (and praise His name for being this way) that He is a covenant keeping God. The Lord takes His promises very seriously; it is part of His nature to be faithful and true to His Word. What He says He will perform!

7 “For in the multitude of dreams and many words there are also divers vanities: but fear thou God.”

“For in the multitude of dreams and many words there are also divers vanities…” What an interesting verse, in the multitude of dreams and words there are many vanities (whims, fancies that lead people astray). There are those who are always following dreams and schemes, however, it is actually in the established things of life and the kingdom of God such as hard work and faithfulness that keep one in check and on the good path. They are the moorings that keep people from wandering aimlessly and crashing. It is principally thought a good thing to be a visionary; however, the most successful efforts of man do not neglect the things we know work; things such as character and morality, uprightness and righteousness.

"...But fear thou God!" This also is a wonderful antidote for vanities and for straying, walking in the fear of the Lord and considering the end of the race; where will the path I am on today take me tomorrow? In Proverbs we have confirmation that the fear of the Lord is what causes us to depart from evil.