I Found Him, I held Him and I Would Not Let Him Go!

Let Thy Mantle Fall of Me

Let Thy Mantle Fall of Me

A Double Portion of Your Spirit Lord

Let Thy Mantle Fall of Me

(Floyd W. Hawkins)

Songs 3:4 - I Found Him, I held Him and I Would Not Let Him Go!

The last few weeks God the Father has been moving upon my heart and has wrought in me almost an unprecedented victory. I say almost because many times I have had victory in the past only to be knocked down again by self-interest and the willful nature in me so this is familiar ground to me. It began about the time I had a vision of the Father, I did not see His face but rather His form and His left hand, my whole focus was on His left hand which was at chest level, He slowly moved His hand towards His chest just as one would if they were beckoning someone to come closer. I recall having a sense of pleasure in my spirit as I saw this. Whilst we remember the right hand of God as the hand of blessing there is something about His left hand that made me feel as though He was drawing me to Himself, it gave me a sense of warmth and love. There are, of course several verses that come to mind about the left hand. There is the portion in the Song of Solomon where Solomon’s left hand was under the Shulamite's head and with the right hand he embraced her Songs 2:6 “His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me." I am not saying this is literally what God does with us I am simply implying it is a sign of closeness and affection much like we see as John leaned on the breast of Jesus. The left hand is also indicated in the priesthood to have a certain function, there is the cupped left hand of the priest which held the anointing oil. It became the reservoir the priest used to dip his right hand into and so the left hand is associated with the anointing. Lev 14:15  "And the priest shall take some of the log of oil, and pour it into the palm of his own left hand:" ; Lev 14:16  "And the priest shall dip his right finger in the oil that is in his left hand, and shall sprinkle of the oil with his finger seven times before the LORD:" Ever since this experience Gods hand has been heavy upon me and I am seeking Him almost night and day for fresh experience, a fresh breaking, a fresh release and a fresh calling. It has been very dear to me but always, always in the back of my mind is this thought, "Take care Frank, you have been here before and the old nature has ruined it and His precious presence has left"

Remembering our past failures is a good thing in this sense, the failures of the past give us zeal to stay on the right path in the future. When we fall down we take note of what it was before we fell down that led to our declination and defeat. We consider our behavior, our thoughts and even our speech. All of this effort is to avoid the potential failures of the future. Here is what I have observed, sin is like a speeding train on a railroad track going the wrong way, once we jump on, it takes us very far, very quickly away from our goal. Many times we have a long wait before we can get back to where we started when we got off the right path. There is a chorus to a song written by Harold McWhorter "Sin Will Take You Farther" that goes like this:  "Sin will take you farther than you want to go, slowly but wholly taking control, sin will leave you longer than you want to stay, sin will cost you far more than you want to pay." It means that once we get off the right path we cannot always just change our minds and turn back into the right path, we will go through different states before we feel again the drawing of His Spirit. It can be very costly! Using our train metaphor we may have to strive to get back jumping from train to train, station to station to get back where we were; we search and search and search, sometimes seemingly in vain that God would bring us back to where we were before we stepped out of line. This is the experience the Shulamite had when she rejected the Lord in the Song of Solomon Chapter 5: When she rejected Him out of her own selfish desires, she eventually came to her senses and ran to the door to meet Him, He was gone and she searched and searched and could not find Him. She went about the city and had a rough time of it as the watchmen smote her while she looked for her beloved whom she did eventually find and clave to.

I recall a sermon I preached once in my home church, it was on this portion of scriptures from the Song of Solomon 5. I struggled in my spirit with the Lord about this message, I said to Him: everyone who is going to be in church Sunday morning is on the right path, they will feel I am saying they are not. Nevertheless, the Spirit compelled me to give this message on backsliding and how long it can take to return, I could feel inspiration on nothing else. Even as I was on the platform I was struggling and feeling uncomfortable about the message when in walked a young man who had walked off the path many times in spite of many warnings. He came in sat down, then I realized God had fashioned the message for him, we had not seen him in quite a while and there was no reason for me to expect him to be there but there he was. This is what the Lord said to Him, it came out in the message though it was not in my notes (It was used in support of an illustration on the Prodigal son, not directed directly at him but I knew it was God speaking to him, I felt it): "Take care, because you have left the path It is going to be a long, long time before you will get back to the sense of My presence" It was because he had selfishly gratified himself instead of remaining faithful to the Lord and he had done it many times. Sadly, he did not find the grace (as many do not) and God has removed him and sent him onto a lesser path with a lesser vision. 

The point is this, when God calls us to Himself He wants us to stay close to Him. He does not want us to be drawn away by selfish desires, by worldly desires or sinful desires. Right now God is drawing me (and I hope He is drawing you too) and I am putting all my efforts into knowing what He wants from me and asking for the grace to do it, I am remembering my past failures and taking steps to avoid them. As I have been seeking Him He has been pouring out His grace and I want it to continue. My hope is that the selfish things that took away my victory in the past will be dealt with and the Spirit of adoption whereby we cry Abba Father will compel me to ever follow Him more and more so that we can walk together in a new sense of communion and fellowship.  Let me conclude with the title of this message and may it be our most earnest desire: Songs 3:4 - I Found Him, I held Him and I Would Not Let Him Go!